Jan. 31st, 2016

thanate: (bluehair)
One of the interesting things about mentally decompressing from a not so helpful place* is that I'm rediscovering a lower grade of failure modes. I no longer want to sit on the kitchen floor and cry (yay!) but I feel utterly no incentive to get up in the morning. (Once I get moving, I'm fine, but the bed-gravity is strong, and not assisted by the cat lurking, ready to climb onto my lap the moment I sit up.) I'm sleeping better, but have had a couple nights of clenching my jaw in my sleep. Stuff like that. It's peculiar.

The Megatherium is bipping along, mostly unsick (finally!) but now she's going off afternoon napping and getting her NO on. (No means no except for toddlers, for whom it might mean anything; we're presently getting nos as she does the thing she's saying no about.) The house is full of imaginary friends-- half the time she's talking to someone else, who might be Cowgirl Kate (when she's not being Cowgirl Kate; it goes back and forth a lot), or Frances, or some other book character, or her hands or feet might be having a conversation. Usually they'll be arguing with each other. ("Can we come in? No! Ok, then, we'll go home. No, you can come in.") On the occasions when her silly parent butts in (there are sometimes longish pauses in the conversation where I can ask things like, "Who's going home?") she will stare blankly at me for a minute before answering. ("My left foot." [subtext: why are you asking me weird questions, Mommy?]) Although it was grauwulf who was solioquising loudly to the kitchen cabinets by way of complaining about work when she came up to him and said very seriously, "Don't do anything odd, Daddy."

The most recent thing is a pair of little red traffic cones (probably from the little people parking garage) that she asked permission to liberate from her grandma's house yesterday, and she's been carrying them around upside down and pretending to fill them up with ice cream ever since. The box of fake pearl necklaces also recently came to light-- there was a spate of putting them on & insisting that she wanted "to dress up in high heels and nightgowns!" and have a ball. I explained the difference between a nightgown and a ball gown, at which point she gave up the adjective entirely. (I think she got the concept out of Christina Katerina and the Box, a picture book I highly recommend to anyone inclined towards that level of literature.)

We finally went to see the new Star Wars movie before grauwulf left the country, since we both managed to be free on a day my mother was up to look after the Megatherium. Egregious conservation of mass & orbital rotation issues aside,** I thought it did pretty well with appropriate Star Wars-y feel. Totally with TexAnne about wanting Maz merch. <3 the quirky old lady whose ruleset splits the difference between my grandmother and my toddler. I hope someone helped her put her temple back together. (Leia continues to be that cool lady who's about 20 years older than I am. Huh.)


---
*I read an article recently that mentioned apparently the spacey/non-hyperactive (usually female & late onset-- tho not always, as my brother's had it pretty much forever) kind of ADD is pretty closely linked with depression/anxiety. Not only because apparently the popular image is of the hyperactive sort which leads to non-diagnosis. And yeah, that kind of is the crux of my problems with toddler parenting; the Megatherium is at the best of times a decision fatigue vector, and my brain burns out on that sort of thing a lot faster than many peoples' do.

**I might have leaned over and muttered, "...so they just kind of moved the sun over?"
thanate: (bluehair)
One of the interesting things about mentally decompressing from a not so helpful place* is that I'm rediscovering a lower grade of failure modes. I no longer want to sit on the kitchen floor and cry (yay!) but I feel utterly no incentive to get up in the morning. (Once I get moving, I'm fine, but the bed-gravity is strong, and not assisted by the cat lurking, ready to climb onto my lap the moment I sit up.) I'm sleeping better, but have had a couple nights of clenching my jaw in my sleep. Stuff like that. It's peculiar.

The Megatherium is bipping along, mostly unsick (finally!) but now she's going off afternoon napping and getting her NO on. (No means no except for toddlers, for whom it might mean anything; we're presently getting nos as she does the thing she's saying no about.) The house is full of imaginary friends-- half the time she's talking to someone else, who might be Cowgirl Kate (when she's not being Cowgirl Kate; it goes back and forth a lot), or Frances, or some other book character, or her hands or feet might be having a conversation. Usually they'll be arguing with each other. ("Can we come in? No! Ok, then, we'll go home. No, you can come in.") On the occasions when her silly parent butts in (there are sometimes longish pauses in the conversation where I can ask things like, "Who's going home?") she will stare blankly at me for a minute before answering. ("My left foot." [subtext: why are you asking me weird questions, Mommy?]) Although it was grauwulf who was solioquising loudly to the kitchen cabinets by way of complaining about work when she came up to him and said very seriously, "Don't do anything odd, Daddy."

The most recent thing is a pair of little red traffic cones (probably from the little people parking garage) that she asked permission to liberate from her grandma's house yesterday, and she's been carrying them around upside down and pretending to fill them up with ice cream ever since. The box of fake pearl necklaces also recently came to light-- there was a spate of putting them on & insisting that she wanted "to dress up in high heels and nightgowns!" and have a ball. I explained the difference between a nightgown and a ball gown, at which point she gave up the adjective entirely. (I think she got the concept out of Christina Katerina and the Box, a picture book I highly recommend to anyone inclined towards that level of literature.)

We finally went to see the new Star Wars movie before grauwulf left the country, since we both managed to be free on a day my mother was up to look after the Megatherium. Egregious conservation of mass & orbital rotation issues aside,** I thought it did pretty well with appropriate Star Wars-y feel. Totally with TexAnne about wanting Maz merch. <3 the quirky old lady whose ruleset splits the difference between my grandmother and my toddler. I hope someone helped her put her temple back together. (Leia continues to be that cool lady who's about 20 years older than I am. Huh.)


---
*I read an article recently that mentioned apparently the spacey/non-hyperactive (usually female & late onset-- tho not always, as my brother's had it pretty much forever) kind of ADD is pretty closely linked with depression/anxiety. Not only because apparently the popular image is of the hyperactive sort which leads to non-diagnosis. And yeah, that kind of is the crux of my problems with toddler parenting; the Megatherium is at the best of times a decision fatigue vector, and my brain burns out on that sort of thing a lot faster than many peoples' do.

**I might have leaned over and muttered, "...so they just kind of moved the sun over?"

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