haven't read Kim (will put it on my list) but I'm more or less with you on 'Twist.
As far as the ratio of quality in relationships thing goes: to me this is just common sense. It's kind of like the travel equation or anything else for that matter. If the positives don't out weigh the negatives by a factor significant enough to effectively "negate the negatives", then why do it? The problem is that with (for example) SCA travel, it is very easy to note what the positives and negatives are, and that is how you make a decision to go to an event or not. With relationships people are very rarely honest enough with themselves, much less anybody else, to identify and quantify (in terms of weighted ratios) those things per person. There are also many aspects which are completely intangible, particularly in terms of a romantic relationship, and so very difficult to factor into the mathematical formula of a good relationship. 85% of my interactions with dominyk are positive, that doesn't mean that I think we would make a good couple :)
RE: 18 years of dust balls I saw this particular issue not being one of positive/negative ratio, but rather of ineffective (or generally lacking) communication. Rewind 17 years 11 months and interject an open, honest, effective conversation about dealing with those dust balls. Does that change the overall outcome? Who knows. If nothing else it does make sure that everybody is aware of the factors which are building up to major issues. We are emotional beings for all that it is good and bad, if we fail to express that appropriately... well, the bucket gets full and then we realize that 18 years of dust balls can't be easily cleaned out. They break the bucket :-/
tired, this sounds like a good on the drive to VA conversation :)
no subject
As far as the ratio of quality in relationships thing goes: to me this is just common sense. It's kind of like the travel equation or anything else for that matter. If the positives don't out weigh the negatives by a factor significant enough to effectively "negate the negatives", then why do it? The problem is that with (for example) SCA travel, it is very easy to note what the positives and negatives are, and that is how you make a decision to go to an event or not. With relationships people are very rarely honest enough with themselves, much less anybody else, to identify and quantify (in terms of weighted ratios) those things per person. There are also many aspects which are completely intangible, particularly in terms of a romantic relationship, and so very difficult to factor into the mathematical formula of a good relationship. 85% of my interactions with
RE: 18 years of dust balls
I saw this particular issue not being one of positive/negative ratio, but rather of ineffective (or generally lacking) communication. Rewind 17 years 11 months and interject an open, honest, effective conversation about dealing with those dust balls. Does that change the overall outcome? Who knows. If nothing else it does make sure that everybody is aware of the factors which are building up to major issues. We are emotional beings for all that it is good and bad, if we fail to express that appropriately... well, the bucket gets full and then we realize that 18 years of dust balls can't be easily cleaned out. They break the bucket :-/
tired, this sounds like a good on the drive to VA conversation :)