thanate: (bluehair)
2015-12-07 02:47 pm
Entry tags:

[sticky entry] Sticky: one point of divergence

As of April 2017 journal is no longer mirrored at livejournal.
thanate: (whirlpool)
2017-10-18 08:52 pm

little joys of parenting

An essential difference between the Megatherium and her parents is that even when she's having an EVERYTHING IS HORRIBLE morning she insists that it's "Not everything." Even if she can't think of anything that isn't horrible just now, her automatic response is the disclaimer.

(I am slightly terrified that we'll mess this up for her. Or something else will. She's still telling me she's scared of the dark, but I think that's become her euphemism for everything else that's a problem.)
thanate: (Default)
2017-10-17 12:10 pm

Ear worms, brain weasels, and paleoanthropology

1) We got the original My Little Pony movie out of the library last week (30 year DVD edition!) which I had not previously seen. The Megatherium, predictably, loved it, and despite wanting to have a chat with Baby Lickety-Split about how doing your own thing is great if you don't spring it on other people onstage during a performance, I found it reasonably stomachable, and so we watched it twice and everyone in the family got the MLP theme song stuck in their heads. In my case, also the witch girls' songs ("Nothing can stop the Smooze!") & I find myself wanting to try applying Flutter Ponies to current politics.

2) Continuing the joys of late 90s CD technology, I also got her Megatheriosity a Disney Princes compendium CD from the library and was side-swiped in the brain by Belle's "Home" song. I think it's from the musical rather than the movie, but the friend who gave me Disney mix tapes in high school must have put that on one of them, because while I didn't remember it existed it immediately sprang at least 80% remembered from my back brain. (My other high school mix tape friend gave me Andrew Lloyd Webber songs, and I gave them my mother's mostly-forgotten Jean Redpath & Judy Collins records.)

3) TED talk from Genevieve von Petzinger, the 10-minute version of the cave art book I just finished reading, recommended: Why are these 32 Symbols found in ancient caves all over Europe?
thanate: (darkkerrigan)
2017-10-12 09:53 am

charms against screaming

It is (I believe) a little-known fact that it's much more difficult to have a screaming melt-down at 4 am when you devote your brain to composing doggerel to old children's tunes. (London Bridge in this case.)

All the world is burning down
or going to drown
run by a clown
and earthquakes knock our buildings down
my poor planet

The ocean's full of plastic now
can't get it out
don't know how*
and all the ice is melting down
my poor planet



*There are some up and coming ideas on how to address the surface bits, but last I heard nobody even knows where 90% of ocean plastics end up.


Feel free to add your own verses about all the horrible things people are doing to each other (my poor species?) or whatever else you're currently freaked out about. I'll be out trimming broken branches off my elm tree in hopes of balancing out some of the massive root pruning the county just did while attempting to fix a phantom sewer blockage for the stupid neighbor. (The other stupid neighbor, not the one who runs the sketchy daycare where a couple of the parents reportedly got into a fist fight in the front yard yesterday.)
thanate: (Default)
2017-10-09 08:31 pm
Entry tags:

Surely I can sell a child who powders her sidewalk chalk on grinding & painting with ocher.

So. Grauwulf is leaving his job (the one I've been not-really-joking that he's in an abusive relationship with for a year or two) on Friday and going on to something else that's more directly computer security rather than programming and on a normal schedule at the beginning of next month. With luck the intervening month will involve more cleaning/catching up on household tasks than stepping on each others toes/brains, but since telling his boss that he's quitting he hasn't stress-puked once, so that's definitely a step up.

Meanwhile, our child has taken to turning up in the middle of the night & reminding us that she's scared of the dark. (I'm less and less convinced that this remains true as time goes on...) I wouldn't even have a problem with her co-sleeping now that she's big enough not to get smushed if only she didn't keep tossing and turning and kicking us all night, not to mention requiring acknowledgement when she turns up and whining at us. I have unceremoniously carried her back to her own bed a couple times for wiggling too much, but that means I have to get to the point of sufficiently awake to get up and do that. And meanwhile she's still spending too much time being clingy, pestery, and underfoot during the day. Nobody can annoy you like your own child, I guess; fortunately once you plop her down into a group of other kids she'll still play till she drops, so I expect things will calm down soon.

Catching up on my paleoanthropology via Genevieve von Petzinger's The First Signs: Unlocking the Mysteries of the World's Oldest Symbols which is quite good so far, and very backgroundy for those of us who have missed a whole bunch of the recent discoveries not to mention the whole thing about mammoth bone buildings in the near-glacial days of the Czech Republic. (longhouses made of mammoth bones! Bone fires b/c there weren't any trees! 30+k-year-old kilns & fired ceramics that preserve fingerprints & imprints of cloth...) The library doesn't have nearly enough of the interesting books from her references; I need to go see if they've made ILL accessible to mere mortals again (the catalog system keeps changing) or if I have to make a list to take to the info desk. Or invest textbook quantites of money in this project.

The world I have mentally labeled as "doggerland/Homo erectus elves" may take actual shape some day.

Meanwhile, Provenance is staring at me from the top of the pile by my bed because I know if I start reading it I will forget about things like getting enough sleep and regret it deeply. Especially at 3am when my kid wakes me up to remind me that she's still scared.
thanate: (bluehair)
2017-10-04 08:37 pm

The flip side of lemon soaked paper napkins

(situation from last night stabilized & improving, thank you to those who had comforting words; the "I see you, yes that's awful" helps.)

A couple people around me have mentioned Conan Doyle's The White Company in the last couple months. I read it in my early 20s, and quite enjoyed it except for the part that still looms largest in my head: the scene where the captain of the ship is going around explaining to people there's a hole in the side and they're sinking and everyone else is too busy with their all-important geneology/gambling/whatever to do anything about it. And I still want to shake these people and ask what on earth is wrong with them, it doesn't matter who they're related to if they're at the bottom of the sea.

And just like the dog-in-the-manger Ayn Rand villains I didn't believe in at the same age, I feel like these suicidally preoccupied people are turning up like mushrooms after rain these days.

Look at me, such a bundle of joyous thoughts. Um, yes. I'm off to take out the trash & Deal With the Sink. (I should make myself a merit badge for "didn't firebomb the kitchen.")
thanate: (bluehair)
2017-09-22 02:32 pm

writing on black stones with a small white stone & casting them into the river

The world is talking to me about petroglyphs (in that way where things line up a little and then you start noticing more of them.)

There was a glorious tunic dress I got at the thrift store with hand embroidered petroglyph-style fabric, which I passed on to my mother since it fits her without alterations. Pinterest and now the craft stores are full of ideas & paint markers for drawing on rocks. There was the paleoart take on what we can learn about the woolly rhinoceros from looking at art by its contemporaries. And then this glorious article came across twitter the other day: What the Caves are trying to tell us, and I don't remember hearing about the liner scratch marks before either, but they remind me of the reindeer birthing goddesses & the various stone-age petroglyphs that still carry the old gods through into modern central European cross stitch patterns.

Also, I want more fiction weird edge-of-the-imagination speculative stone age cultures and a world where every rock & maybe tree used to be covered with herds of ice age large mammals and the ones in the deep caves are just the only ones we have left.

I am restraining myself from finishing up getting rid of the wallpaper on the stairs (a noble goal, but not today's priority) so I can paint cave art all over those walls. I *might* have to use that as a theme for another pair of painted jeans, tho. Except that then I'd need to make a string skirt to wear with them... (We'll see how long this lasts; so far I'm just at the stage of google image searches & requesting library books.)
thanate: (Default)
2017-09-19 08:46 pm
Entry tags:

Not dead, mostly

I keep thinking maybe I'm about up to dealing with the crises & fiascos of the world outside my household & then the back-to-school cold(s) will hit a new worst part and my child paints the cat, who then comes inside & whacks his pink sparkly tail into things (ok, that part was funny, if one of those parenting milestones one would rather skip) and someone leaks scary chemical clouds in south Baltimore and the Megatherium becomes addicted to Thea Stilton books. (They could be worse, but there's only so much schoolfriend detective furries-for-elementary-schoolers I can take at a time. Also, why weren't there books with crazy fonts & colored text insets when I was a kid? I mean, besides the advances in computers & publishing technology...)

So, the Megatherium is enjoying 5 mornings of pre-school a week, but wants to go off & play with her friends afterwards, which would be great if she weren't inviting herself places or trying to invite everyone else here (including kids met 2 minutes ago at the library) without any concept of cleaning up first.

Pennsic was nice except for the thing where it rained here the whole time so the house molded & mice got into the silverware drawer & left their little mousy droppings all over everything and I am *still* finding things that are unexpectedly moused or molded, ugh. :( I am terrible about this kind of clean-up, too; it makes my brain hurt.

Grauwulf is less ill than previous (mostly), but came back from vacation to work Drama, part of which involves working from home at the dining room table a bunch, which doesn't help anyone, so ugh, things. He's also currently asleep on the couch next to me because the couch is the eternal sleeping place, I guess.

I started craftster swapping again over the summer to get random care packages in the mail that I didn't have to buy (& it's nice to have deadlines for getting into the craft room) and so far that's been fairly good. We're also working on a craft day in the newly set up "parent lounge" at school for during school time, but my e-mail is being stupid so of course I just ended up sending out the invite 4 times for reasons known only to my computer (& it's not telling.)

Finally bought Tansy Raynor Roberts's Musketeer Space (because bother e-books) & am enjoying her gender-swapped-except-Athos futuristic 3 Musketeers with spaceships. In the class of SF rendition of a classic where the world building makes the story work rather than the story pulling the world building into eye-rolling contortions. (well, some of the planet & station names are a little weird)

I think I want more low-stakes interesting speculative books about grown-ups, tho. Like, older than 20-something at least, if not older than me. Not dystopic, probably not modern world. Major female characters, limited number of POVs. Is this even a thing? Maybe I should just read Middlemarch like everyone else seems to be doing.

Also, did anyone else notice that apparently Rogue Unauthorized Embodied AIs is now a sub-genre? Are there more besides Ann Leckie, Becky Chalmers, & Martha Wells's Murderbot? (I'm not sure rogue is really quite the right word, tho.)
thanate: (Default)
2017-07-25 08:54 pm
Entry tags:

old gods and archaeology

This article is mostly about addressing archaeology as a continuation of the cultures of native populations instead of ignoring the people who live there to "discover" things the locals already know. (Not an issue I ever dealt with, given that most of the sites I dug up were from displaced or otherwise no longer local people on a much shorter timescale.) But it took me weeks to read it because I kept having to stop and glory in this bit at the beginning:

As we were eating, Don Cipriano, the oldest of the Pech and an expert on the region’s archaeological sites and forests, asked if I had heard the lost city legend—the one about La Ciudad Blanca, or the White City. “I have heard the stories,” I said. Everyone in the region has heard them.

“It’s nearby,” he told me. “Just up this river, up on top of a hill.” I asked him if we should go see it. He told me we couldn’t. The site was sacred, he explained, and was the refuge of Indigenous gods who had fled when the Europeans had arrived nearly 500 years earlier. There were gods from all seven Indigenous groups, and if you went there and couldn’t speak to each one, they wouldn’t allow you to leave, he added. You needed to know all seven Indigenous languages, and nobody knew them all—not even him.


If that's not a writing prompt, I don't know what is.
thanate: (barbie)
2017-04-29 03:16 pm

Doll Climate Rally, 2017

I had grand delusions about going to the Climate March, and then grauwulf had a speaking engagement in Canada, and the EV caravans were focused on carpooling so you could sell your passengers on EV technology (um... did I mention we got a Volt? I didn't, did I? Someone rear-ended the little red car (Honda Insight) & we went from "well, technically we have 2 cars so we don't need another one" to grauwulf picking out the car he wanted in about a week. It is pretty cool and has magic key technology. And then we bought the 13-acre woods, so April was for spending all the money...) and the nearest metro station to us was closed & the train down had big warnings about how they expected to be mobbed, and I've been having allergies and/or the sick the others had last weekend that kept us from going to the Science March, and I wasn't quite up for that much adventure with a 4-year-old Megatherium in tow.

So the dolls are having a Climate Rally on the front steps. Boxes were opened. (Ask me next week how many of the secondhand barbie collection makes it back into the boxes...) We would have had more, but I ran out of clothes. Barbie clothes are the Megatherium's yard sale quest for the year, so there perhaps next time we can do better.



all the pictures )

Improvements for future rounds include more glitter pens, and getting sign-making help from a few more people who can actually write. (The Megatherium had a sign which didn't make it out here saying "Save the Weather please / thank you" but she only wrote the first "s" herself.) Also we have a strange lack of ocean-related signage, & probably a couple other holes I haven't noticed yet.
thanate: (darkkerrigan)
2017-04-14 09:14 pm
Entry tags:

departing in 3... 2...

Just ticked the ticky box long enough to pop over here & say I'm turning off cross-posting from Dreamwidth: I'll be over here (and on twitter) if you want to keep in touch, & please do ping me if you're on the DW side & I haven't tracked you down yet.

I shall continue to miss the lj that was, now with extra bonus not supporting the creepy Russian Mafia new owners, or whatever they are.
thanate: (darkkerrigan)
2017-04-08 12:51 pm

"just another lemon tree"

Apparently lj has taken another dive into the (a)moral abyss? I haven't been over there yet, but it looks like a good time to switch everyone who's on DW over to my actual DW feed...

Who else is over on the DW side that I'm not following here yet? hard link to comment for those interested

Anyway, I'll probably keep cross-posting for a while, mainly because I'm lazy, but the slow migration away from all that is past continues. (And it's not as if I'm supporting lj; I still cling to my ancient ad-free basic account, which is why I've never added more than 5 icons.)
thanate: (Default)
2017-03-17 01:05 pm

adventures in real estate

Well. 2 or maybe that's 3 months of successive rounds of minor illness later...

I don't journal anymore, do I. Bah. I've read about three books off my giant TBR stacks, a few library books, and a lot of bits out of backyard habitat books. Maybe I should do a review of those at some point, but that would involve taking notes. I have an online css course queued up, which is the major obstacle between me and remaking my website into what I think I want instead of how grauwulf interpreted what I said I wanted and adding a backyard naturalist blog component. Tho it would probably be easier to give up and do a wordpress blog which I hate for amorphous personal aesthetic reasons that are most likely pretty stupid. (Well, that and the lack of lj-style reading aggregations.)

We're working on buying 13 acres of hillside and stream conservation woodland near Liberty Reservoir out west of Baltimore, slowed up slightly by our bank's saying when asked that of course they do lot loans, no problem! up until the final check of paperwork before submitting at which point they say, no we can't do anything without a house on it. Thanks guys. So we're on round two of paperwork with somewhere else and less excellent terms, but we're still on the probably worth it side of the equation.

Dithering has gone roughly as follows:

*Woods!!! I don't even have a mental concept of how huge 13 acres is, and it's full of trees with a very nice stream at the bottom. 100 yr+ woodland, mainly tulip & red & white oak, some hickory & a couple beech trees (by my not terribly practiced once-over in winter) with some deer sign, but also some non-invasive understory.

*also full of invasives, including fields of lesser celandine which we'd have to hire someone who's certified to buy Rodeo (the wetland-safer version of roundup) to herbicide for us some February, ugh. May lose the skunk cabbage when we do that.

*3 or so acres of buildable land on kind of steep hillside at the top. But we could build a house into the hill!!! (grauwulf, thinking of hobbit holes, was skeptical, but I dug him up some more modern earth-sheltered designs & I think we're at least on adjacent pages now.)

*for the short term, we'd be looking at a prefab weekend cabin/writing retreat, with larger building to come later & possible "retiring" to there when the Megatherium gets done with school.

*What kind of idiot retires to a house with no level ground? Almost-40 me is cool with living in a tower. Most likely 60-year-old me will be also, but should I live to 80+, this may not be the convenient place to be.

*It's well above the predicted levels of the sea coming to get us, and if I walk up and down that crazy steep slope daily, I'll be/stay in far better shape than any other future presently on offer.

*There is basically not anywhere more convenient to live than where we are, certainly not this property, in terms of access to everything.

*It's only about a half hour drive from home. Can I do enough good with 13 acres to justify driving back and forth for 20+ years? Nobody else is stepping up to do that good, tho...

*I could plant chestnut trees!!!

*There are entirely unauthorized & in fact illegal 4-wheeler trails down by the stream, so we'd have to address that.

*When we got 2" of ice pellets this week, they got 8" of real snow. But buying here basically means I'll never be moving to where it really does snow in the winters, wherever that'll be in 20 years anyway.

We basically concluded that even if we end up never doing more than having a tiny cabin out there & improving the habitat a little it's worth doing. Probably. So we'll see.

Xposty from dreamwidth.
thanate: (Default)
2017-03-17 01:05 pm

adventures in real estate

Well. 2 or maybe that's 3 months of successive rounds of minor illness later...

I don't journal anymore, do I. Bah. I've read about three books off my giant TBR stacks, a few library books, and a lot of bits out of backyard habitat books. Maybe I should do a review of those at some point, but that would involve taking notes. I have an online css course queued up, which is the major obstacle between me and remaking my website into what I think I want instead of how grauwulf interpreted what I said I wanted and adding a backyard naturalist blog component. Tho it would probably be easier to give up and do a wordpress blog which I hate for amorphous personal aesthetic reasons that are most likely pretty stupid. (Well, that and the lack of lj-style reading aggregations.)

We're working on buying 13 acres of hillside and stream conservation woodland near Liberty Reservoir out west of Baltimore, slowed up slightly by our bank's saying when asked that of course they do lot loans, no problem! up until the final check of paperwork before submitting at which point they say, no we can't do anything without a house on it. Thanks guys. So we're on round two of paperwork with somewhere else and less excellent terms, but we're still on the probably worth it side of the equation.

Dithering has gone roughly as follows:

*Woods!!! I don't even have a mental concept of how huge 13 acres is, and it's full of trees with a very nice stream at the bottom. 100 yr+ woodland, mainly tulip & red & white oak, some hickory & a couple beech trees (by my not terribly practiced once-over in winter) with some deer sign, but also some non-invasive understory.

*also full of invasives, including fields of lesser celandine which we'd have to hire someone who's certified to buy Rodeo (the wetland-safer version of roundup) to herbicide for us some February, ugh. May lose the skunk cabbage when we do that.

*3 or so acres of buildable land on kind of steep hillside at the top. But we could build a house into the hill!!! (grauwulf, thinking of hobbit holes, was skeptical, but I dug him up some more modern earth-sheltered designs & I think we're at least on adjacent pages now.)

*for the short term, we'd be looking at a prefab weekend cabin/writing retreat, with larger building to come later & possible "retiring" to there when the Megatherium gets done with school.

*What kind of idiot retires to a house with no level ground? Almost-40 me is cool with living in a tower. Most likely 60-year-old me will be also, but should I live to 80+, this may not be the convenient place to be.

*It's well above the predicted levels of the sea coming to get us, and if I walk up and down that crazy steep slope daily, I'll be/stay in far better shape than any other future presently on offer.

*There is basically not anywhere more convenient to live than where we are, certainly not this property, in terms of access to everything.

*It's only about a half hour drive from home. Can I do enough good with 13 acres to justify driving back and forth for 20+ years? Nobody else is stepping up to do that good, tho...

*I could plant chestnut trees!!!

*There are entirely unauthorized & in fact illegal 4-wheeler trails down by the stream, so we'd have to address that.

*When we got 2" of ice pellets this week, they got 8" of real snow. But buying here basically means I'll never be moving to where it really does snow in the winters, wherever that'll be in 20 years anyway.

We basically concluded that even if we end up never doing more than having a tiny cabin out there & improving the habitat a little it's worth doing. Probably. So we'll see.
thanate: (bluehair)
2017-01-14 08:25 pm

book problems

Well, began the new year with my first stomach flu in 30 years, so that was less than ideal, and current events is full of far more people than usual that I'd happily wish stomach flu upon.

After scouring Craigslist for used cubby shelves and coming up entirely blank (and hating every minute of trying to e-mail people and mostly not hearing back anyway) I got 4 of the 4x4 Kallax cubes from Ikea while they were on sale for $20. (So, supporting new construction, & offgassing toxic MDF chemicals in our house, but low hassle & no chance of getting smoke-infused ones...) Anyway, several problematic organizational problems have now been solved-- the amount of crap that lives on my child's bedroom floor is greatly reduced-- and I have discovered the extent of another problem.

This is my TBR shelf:



It hasn't really changed much in the last several years, because this is the bookshelf I assembled last night and populated with most of the stacks of unread books hanging about in my room:



Not pictured are a couple library books and the stack of things I was more than a couple chapters into that remains on the floor by my bed. And a forgotten shelf & a half of hand-me-down paperbacks on one of the gaps among the read & approved to stay paperbacks....

It is possible that I have a bit of a problem here. (The name of this problem is "if it doesn't come with a library deadline, I may never get to it.") It is time to declare a Year of Using Everything Up on the bookshelf: read it or get rid of it. I have 97 non-picture-books in my reading log from last year, so I could theoretically clear the new shelf handily and still get to enjoy some new releases. (Also about a third of the new-shelf books are freebies from WFC in 2014, so I'm sure I'll bounce off some of them & be able to re-release them into the wild.) So far, however, I've been staring in glassy-eyed choice-paralysis and then being dragged away by my child.

(The Year of Using Everything Up may also get extended to the craft room; so far I've been cleaning in short segments until I find that I've wound down to just staring at things-- half an hour at most-- and blocking off the door with the sewing machine table I just moved out of the Megatherium's room so that she doesn't come in and restore chaos while I'm elsewhere.)

My brain remains mostly spun down, but I have signed the Megatherium up for 5 mornings/week of preschool for next year. Today is not eternal.

ETA-- also, the toilet situation has progressed; praising her for noticing she needs to go and running to the toilet seems to be what was needed. Now it's just getting her to finish up and get out of the bathroom again that's a challenge, as she's teaching her invisible class from the potty and finding letters from Santa on the toilet paper.

Xposty from dreamwidth.
thanate: (bluehair)
2017-01-14 08:25 pm

book problems

Well, began the new year with my first stomach flu in 30 years, so that was less than ideal, and current events is full of far more people than usual that I'd happily wish stomach flu upon.

After scouring Craigslist for used cubby shelves and coming up entirely blank (and hating every minute of trying to e-mail people and mostly not hearing back anyway) I got 4 of the 4x4 Kallax cubes from Ikea while they were on sale for $20. (So, supporting new construction, & offgassing toxic MDF chemicals in our house, but low hassle & no chance of getting smoke-infused ones...) Anyway, several problematic organizational problems have now been solved-- the amount of crap that lives on my child's bedroom floor is greatly reduced-- and I have discovered the extent of another problem.

This is my TBR shelf:



It hasn't really changed much in the last several years, because this is the bookshelf I assembled last night and populated with most of the stacks of unread books hanging about in my room:



Not pictured are a couple library books and the stack of things I was more than a couple chapters into that remains on the floor by my bed. And a forgotten shelf & a half of hand-me-down paperbacks on one of the gaps among the read & approved to stay paperbacks....

It is possible that I have a bit of a problem here. (The name of this problem is "if it doesn't come with a library deadline, I may never get to it.") It is time to declare a Year of Using Everything Up on the bookshelf: read it or get rid of it. I have 97 non-picture-books in my reading log from last year, so I could theoretically clear the new shelf handily and still get to enjoy some new releases. (Also about a third of the new-shelf books are freebies from WFC in 2014, so I'm sure I'll bounce off some of them & be able to re-release them into the wild.) So far, however, I've been staring in glassy-eyed choice-paralysis and then being dragged away by my child.

(The Year of Using Everything Up may also get extended to the craft room; so far I've been cleaning in short segments until I find that I've wound down to just staring at things-- half an hour at most-- and blocking off the door with the sewing machine table I just moved out of the Megatherium's room so that she doesn't come in and restore chaos while I'm elsewhere.)

My brain remains mostly spun down, but I have signed the Megatherium up for 5 mornings/week of preschool for next year. Today is not eternal.

ETA-- also, the toilet situation has progressed; praising her for noticing she needs to go and running to the toilet seems to be what was needed. Now it's just getting her to finish up and get out of the bathroom again that's a challenge, as she's teaching her invisible class from the potty and finding letters from Santa on the toilet paper.
thanate: (octopus)
2016-12-26 09:17 pm
Entry tags:

Happy birthday to me, I don't live in a tree...

(which *cough* stunningly inane bit of doggerel has been floating about in my head for a day or two, but I have managed to resist singing it where my child might overhear and demand that I sing it over and over and over again. As she would. I likewise managed to avoid incessant demands for figgy pudding.)

So, 38. We've got another round of minor sick going around, so I've been more than usually spacey and staring at walls today. Tried to go see Moana, but I had underestimated the mad theater crowds on a post-Christmas Christmas holiday Monday, so I guess I'll go see it with my mother on Friday instead. Which is ok too. Instead I came home and did some more pruning of my winter garden so that all the paths in the backyard are passable and maybe the squirrels won't be able to get to the screen on the dining room window so they can climb up it towards the bird feeders, leaving little scuffs and holes with their claws.

Then we went out for Thai food followed by ice skating. Her Megatheriosity had a grand time sliding about on double-bladed training skates clinging to a stack of buckets, a parent or two, or occasionally the wall. She flips between trying to walk and not trying to balance at all with other people dragging her, but so far so good. Neither grauwulf nor I had been skating in almost 20 years, but we managed to keep our feet and have a good time also. If we do this many more times, tho, I need to look for a pair of used figure skates that aren't built like ski boots & rub holes in my ankle.

Goals for the new year of me... I am backing off of writing for a while because my writer brain is kind of buried underneath a giant pile of introvert/life-stress. (my child went to preschool and then stopped napping. Followed by stopping using the toilet. So my time to be a solitary grownup has noticeably decreased.) But I want to do more projects-- both craft things & naturalist things. Maybe add the naturalist section to my website that was part of the plan when I launched it before the Megatherium was born. Continue donating to causes that make the world a better place. Probably continue pestering politicians (tho my congresspeople are about as with me already as it gets so far) in the hopes that it'll help, or at least get easier to do. Continue trying to balance self-care and productivity and parenting without falling off any of them. Teach the cat to use his new puzzle feeders. Reteach my child to use the toilet always. Eventually relocate my writing brain. Do fun things, do important things, do good things, drink tea, get sleep. We're also considering acquiring some property somewhere a little higher up and farther inland in case the ocean comes for Baltimore sooner than presently anticipated. Live.

Xposty from dreamwidth.
thanate: (octopus)
2016-12-26 09:17 pm

Happy birthday to me, I don't live in a tree...

(which *cough* stunningly inane bit of doggerel has been floating about in my head for a day or two, but I have managed to resist singing it where my child might overhear and demand that I sing it over and over and over again. As she would. I likewise managed to avoid incessant demands for figgy pudding.)

So, 38. We've got another round of minor sick going around, so I've been more than usually spacey and staring at walls today. Tried to go see Moana, but I had underestimated the mad theater crowds on a post-Christmas Christmas holiday Monday, so I guess I'll go see it with my mother on Friday instead. Which is ok too. Instead I came home and did some more pruning of my winter garden so that all the paths in the backyard are passable and maybe the squirrels won't be able to get to the screen on the dining room window so they can climb up it towards the bird feeders, leaving little scuffs and holes with their claws.

Then we went out for Thai food followed by ice skating. Her Megatheriosity had a grand time sliding about on double-bladed training skates clinging to a stack of buckets, a parent or two, or occasionally the wall. She flips between trying to walk and not trying to balance at all with other people dragging her, but so far so good. Neither grauwulf nor I had been skating in almost 20 years, but we managed to keep our feet and have a good time also. If we do this many more times, tho, I need to look for a pair of used figure skates that aren't built like ski boots & rub holes in my ankle.

Goals for the new year of me... I am backing off of writing for a while because my writer brain is kind of buried underneath a giant pile of introvert/life-stress. (my child went to preschool and then stopped napping. Followed by stopping using the toilet. So my time to be a solitary grownup has noticeably decreased.) But I want to do more projects-- both craft things & naturalist things. Maybe add the naturalist section to my website that was part of the plan when I launched it before the Megatherium was born. Continue donating to causes that make the world a better place. Probably continue pestering politicians (tho my congresspeople are about as with me already as it gets so far) in the hopes that it'll help, or at least get easier to do. Continue trying to balance self-care and productivity and parenting without falling off any of them. Teach the cat to use his new puzzle feeders. Reteach my child to use the toilet always. Eventually relocate my writing brain. Do fun things, do important things, do good things, drink tea, get sleep. We're also considering acquiring some property somewhere a little higher up and farther inland in case the ocean comes for Baltimore sooner than presently anticipated. Live.
thanate: (whirlpool)
2016-12-19 08:55 pm

daydreaming about the days of fanciful lj subject lines

Twitter serves the button-pushing addiction far better than lj ever did, of course, but writing long-form feeds the soul rather better. Besides that I hate (have always hated!) politics as played out by modern governments, and deeply resent it when the world gets so stupid I have to be one of the people yelling about it. (This is me being a spoiled brat, but it's also about as deeply rooted in my psyche as long hair being good. Why haven't the people who *want* to worry about this stuff fixed it yet??) Anyway, my twitter-crowd is buzzing about all the wrong with the world and whom one ought to call about it today, which makes it rather less of a mental support network than previously.

I have sorted out a weekly donation budget, and am occasionally delighted when something I would otherwise have donated to meets its goal & closes before I get there. I've made some phone calls, though not so many as I might have if the Megatherium didn't periodically try to climb on my head when I'm on the phone. There are Christmas presents; I have so far not fallen back into sobbing on the kitchen floor levels of melt-down while dealing with a demanding child who wants to play endless games of present wrapping (and unwrapping, and leaving the unwrapped toys scattered in the walkway) and fielding high levels of not-my depressive meltdowns. Finally made it into the super-secret behavioral health phone-only-access system on our healthcare & talked to a therapist-- I've only seen her twice, so the jury's still out on how helpful this really is (especially when I can't schedule appointments online) but it's nice to make the occasional designated space to complain about things.

The Megatherium and I have been playing Skylanders: Giants, which is obviously better when you have someone to leap up enthusiastically and swap figurines for you, and I really like that it has a "set all the fighting to easy" mode. Still disappointed that I can't chop Flynn-the-creep to bits, tho.

Not writing. Reading a bit. Let my SFWA membership lapse because I'm feeling so not-currently-writerly that I don't even want to go to cons and then while the renewal e-mail was sitting in my inbox there was another round of organization-specific poorly managed drama. I just went up to the loft to plug in my laptop at my supposedly-for-writing desk and discovered that the calendar is still on September. I was going to take writing time while my child was in pre-school, but then she stopped napping (and when she does nap, then she's awake half the night, so it's not much of an improvement.) Signing her up for 5 mornings a week next year, but that's not until next fall. In the mean time, I'm trying to remember to do more things that are me-like and wouldn't be entirely alien to my 12-year-old self. While still working to keep idiots from destroying the world.

Xposty from dreamwidth.
thanate: (whirlpool)
2016-12-19 08:55 pm

daydreaming about the days of fanciful lj subject lines

Twitter serves the button-pushing addiction far better than lj ever did, of course, but writing long-form feeds the soul rather better. Besides that I hate (have always hated!) politics as played out by modern governments, and deeply resent it when the world gets so stupid I have to be one of the people yelling about it. (This is me being a spoiled brat, but it's also about as deeply rooted in my psyche as long hair being good. Why haven't the people who *want* to worry about this stuff fixed it yet??) Anyway, my twitter-crowd is buzzing about all the wrong with the world and whom one ought to call about it today, which makes it rather less of a mental support network than previously.

I have sorted out a weekly donation budget, and am occasionally delighted when something I would otherwise have donated to meets its goal & closes before I get there. I've made some phone calls, though not so many as I might have if the Megatherium didn't periodically try to climb on my head when I'm on the phone. There are Christmas presents; I have so far not fallen back into sobbing on the kitchen floor levels of melt-down while dealing with a demanding child who wants to play endless games of present wrapping (and unwrapping, and leaving the unwrapped toys scattered in the walkway) and fielding high levels of not-my depressive meltdowns. Finally made it into the super-secret behavioral health phone-only-access system on our healthcare & talked to a therapist-- I've only seen her twice, so the jury's still out on how helpful this really is (especially when I can't schedule appointments online) but it's nice to make the occasional designated space to complain about things.

The Megatherium and I have been playing Skylanders: Giants, which is obviously better when you have someone to leap up enthusiastically and swap figurines for you, and I really like that it has a "set all the fighting to easy" mode. Still disappointed that I can't chop Flynn-the-creep to bits, tho.

Not writing. Reading a bit. Let my SFWA membership lapse because I'm feeling so not-currently-writerly that I don't even want to go to cons and then while the renewal e-mail was sitting in my inbox there was another round of organization-specific poorly managed drama. I just went up to the loft to plug in my laptop at my supposedly-for-writing desk and discovered that the calendar is still on September. I was going to take writing time while my child was in pre-school, but then she stopped napping (and when she does nap, then she's awake half the night, so it's not much of an improvement.) Signing her up for 5 mornings a week next year, but that's not until next fall. In the mean time, I'm trying to remember to do more things that are me-like and wouldn't be entirely alien to my 12-year-old self. While still working to keep idiots from destroying the world.
thanate: (darkkerrigan)
2016-11-14 08:26 pm

Well. That was horrifying.

When I'm asked about religion, I usually start by explaining that I was raised by a vocal atheist & an occasionally observant christian, and I've never been quite comfortable with Believing in things. I spent a bunch of time in my early 20s singing in the UU choir directed by my housemate's father, and while I loved the choir part, the services never quite stopped making me vaguely uncomfortable. They all began with a statement of "You are welcome here despite [a list of what sounded like all the things that might be *wrong* with you.]"

Nearing-40 me has a little more patience with the things that other people need to hear iterated, even if I retain my vast oceans of self-confidence about my own personhood & that of others. I hope to retain that, despite efforts of horrifying people to regress a lifetime's worth of social progress. (My mother's lifetime, if not my grandmother's.) I also hope that we don't sit here arguing bitterly about who gets to be Real until the ice caps melt & the oceans come for us all. There's at least someone who thinks there's still hope: There will never be a better time to save the planet.

It's a nice vision, anyway. And he's right about it not being a battle where we can just give up. I hope there's provision for wildlife in those walkable densely packed city transit corridors he's proposing, tho.

Anyway, I am still mired in my toddler-bound, depression-laced world, with a spouse who's spent the last month intermittently sick & a child who's given up on peeing in the toilet again, but I have been meaning to do a little more boots-on-the-ground naturalist & climate outreach for years, so we'll see if I can manage to share a little of that.

Hang in there, people. It's a scary world right now (or maybe it always was one) & I already know one person who chose not to continue living in it. Eat, hydrate, sleep, do the stuff that needs doing, and do your best to be furious about the right things.

Xposty from dreamwidth.