I also found the concept of a contract for marriage for a pre-determined amount of time very interesting. Which goes to prove that marriage customs and how it is done varies from time to time. That includes polygamy, which used to be the norm in olden days, is now considered illegal, and yet it has become fashionable with some people.
Marriage is basically that, a contract. It can be among a man and a woman, a man and several women, a woman and several men, or just several people, depending on which culture of time period we are talking about.
As for whether people are not trying enough, it may be a matter of perception. Like saying that everything in the past was better and that there is nothing like the "old times." If we got to revisit the "old times" we will probably discover that they were not as good as we remember them. :-)
I think that in this day and age you have to work harder at a relationship precisely because there is more freedom to leave it if it makes us miserable.
What often happened in older times was that people stuck together no matter what, even when they could not bear sight of each other, because of social conventions. In my country we call it "bearing our cross." You got married. Marriage is sacred, and if your spouse beats you up, treats you like dirt, expects you to take responsibiliy for everything while they go to have a beer at the bar, well, it is your cross to bear and you may go to heaven for your trouble. But you stick with your spouse even if it kills you. Literally.
I remember the words of one of my mom's maids. She was an older lady and had bore many children. She told me that she was very sad whenever girls were born, because girls came to this world only to suffer.
To be honest, she was right. When you are born to serve the opposite gender hand in feet -- and believe me, you are-- then it is a sad thing to have been born a woman.
But going back to current relationships. I believe that these days -- like in olden days -- the people who really try, and where *both* of them love each other enough to try together, will stay together. Those who are not well suited for each other, or where only one is trying, can walk away and get on with their lives. And this is a good perk of the 21st Century.
But I definitely like your drafting of the contract. :-)
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branchandroot
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Date: 2007-07-10 08:50 pm (UTC)Marriage is basically that, a contract. It can be among a man and a woman, a man and several women, a woman and several men, or just several people, depending on which culture of time period we are talking about.
As for whether people are not trying enough, it may be a matter of perception. Like saying that everything in the past was better and that there is nothing like the "old times." If we got to revisit the "old times" we will probably discover that they were not as good as we remember them. :-)
I think that in this day and age you have to work harder at a relationship precisely because there is more freedom to leave it if it makes us miserable.
What often happened in older times was that people stuck together no matter what, even when they could not bear sight of each other, because of social conventions. In my country we call it "bearing our cross." You got married. Marriage is sacred, and if your spouse beats you up, treats you like dirt, expects you to take responsibiliy for everything while they go to have a beer at the bar, well, it is your cross to bear and you may go to heaven for your trouble. But you stick with your spouse even if it kills you. Literally.
I remember the words of one of my mom's maids. She was an older lady and had bore many children. She told me that she was very sad whenever girls were born, because girls came to this world only to suffer.
To be honest, she was right. When you are born to serve the opposite gender hand in feet -- and believe me, you are-- then it is a sad thing to have been born a woman.
But going back to current relationships. I believe that these days -- like in olden days -- the people who really try, and where *both* of them love each other enough to try together, will stay together. Those who are not well suited for each other, or where only one is trying, can walk away and get on with their lives. And this is a good perk of the 21st Century.
But I definitely like your drafting of the contract. :-)