"...that's where it all breaks down, of course."

[thanate]

I've been thinking about a bunch of things recently, and one of the ones I can't quite figure out is where it was that I started defining my personal value and satisfaction in terms of productivity. I mean, I have scheduled time (social, work, exercise, etc) and I do these things, and usually enjoy them, but somehow in the end I come out with this sense that they're taking time away from me "accomplishing things," which is what I "ought" to be doing.

And laundry, or food, or picking up all the crap off my floor and finding homes for it don't count as things accomplished. Finishing projects or putting pictures online do. I think it's the distinction of whether I have something to show for what I've done in the end. (working on the craft projects if I haven't finished yet... not so much) Apparently I wish to interact with the world with witty lj posts and slightly-unfocused pictures of things other people may not care about, rather than in person. I have a feeling that my perspective here is somewhat skewed. Ok, that's normal. But when it means I can't spend a weekend with my boyfriend, who I don't see much if any of during the week, without feeling obscurely like I'm wasting my time, this is a problem.



("...I'd far rather be happy than right, any day." / "And are you?" / "Well, no...")

Comments

[astormorray.livejournal.com]

omg. me too. The only thing that is important to me is being thought of as awesome on the craftster forums. I'm completely mental. :/

wasting my time

[gianetta.livejournal.com]

I sometimes get that feeling after spending a lot of time working on projects, but it usually goes away after being a slacker for a couple of weeks. :)

[heuchera.livejournal.com]

I seem to have swung totally the other way. My new personal productivity is keeping the house somewhat tidy, eating food I make at home and/or sufficient vegetables, and taking time to read books. Knitting -- I'm probably averaging 5 rows of lace shawl a week. That's it. In general, I don't want to make more stuff until I get rid of more of what I have.

[thanate.livejournal.com]

Oddly enough, none of the bead projects I've done so far (and I finally finished all the ones I've started, leaving me the... moral option?... of starting more...) have been for me. And I've started to get sucked into the craftster swap process, which is all about making stuff for other people, and having them make stuff for you. (not that this necessarily decreases the clutter or anything)