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thanateI am coming to the conclusion that if I had one wish, it would be that I could get my brain to function at peak efficiency all the time instead of just occasionally. Of course, it's entirely possible that ritalin or something would help this, but I honestly don't see mood and performance stabilizing drugs as being a good option in this day and age. Maybe in another half a century, if people have managed to work out better ways of determining individual brain chemistry and its drug reactions in a more effective way than trial and error. Probably for some smaller margin of the population who can't function, or can't function acceptably without. But I dislike messing with my internal mental landscape, since I have so very little perspective on how it works in its natural state.
Anyway, I had a weekend that should have been overall good, but involved too much of me being frustrated, irritated, and briefly miserable for entirely unjustified reasons. And then a copy of my novel tried to run off again-- the novel that I had to re-write from chapter five onward because all but the last two chapters of it was on the harddrive that got thrown away. It turned up in the mailbox this afternoon, relatively unharmed. I choose to take this as a good sign.
However, I've also been home all day because I woke up with a dull headache, and decided going back to sleep was better than staring at artifacts all day. Only when I woke up again after another five hours or so of sleep, my head still hurt. And so I'm back to the dilemma of whether to try to do something (with only half-mental-focus available to me) and make it worse, hoping it's not sufficiently worse that it doesn't go away by tomorrow, or be bored and in possibly slightly less pain. Sigh. At which point (tomorrow) I still have to go back to work, still not having accomplished the things I wanted to get done on, er, thursday night. Bah.
Anyway, I had a weekend that should have been overall good, but involved too much of me being frustrated, irritated, and briefly miserable for entirely unjustified reasons. And then a copy of my novel tried to run off again-- the novel that I had to re-write from chapter five onward because all but the last two chapters of it was on the harddrive that got thrown away. It turned up in the mailbox this afternoon, relatively unharmed. I choose to take this as a good sign.
However, I've also been home all day because I woke up with a dull headache, and decided going back to sleep was better than staring at artifacts all day. Only when I woke up again after another five hours or so of sleep, my head still hurt. And so I'm back to the dilemma of whether to try to do something (with only half-mental-focus available to me) and make it worse, hoping it's not sufficiently worse that it doesn't go away by tomorrow, or be bored and in possibly slightly less pain. Sigh. At which point (tomorrow) I still have to go back to work, still not having accomplished the things I wanted to get done on, er, thursday night. Bah.