some things are too disturbing to keep to oneself

[thanate]

Um... Um...

So I was closing safari windows I'd left open on my computer, with intent to do that and then go do a little handsewing and go to bed. Only one of the windows left open was the "Sticks and Stones" page (of excerpts from published works) from the Bulwer-Lytton contest pages, and I got caught and started reading through them again. There are far too many, and some of them are gems. And then there was this:

[#78]
I have to submit this as the worst metaphor ever for the act of making love. Written by Robert K. Tanenbaum, in one of the Butch Karp novels (i.e., Enemy Within, Act of Revenge):

"And then he was fully socketed to her, like a pipe wrench in a crock of warm chili."

I swear to God I'm not making this up. Robert must be a lonely man.

[Contributor: Jim Hintzen, Phoenix, AZ]

That is significantly more disturbing than the "eels spiting in caves" explanation out of Memoirs of a Geisha...

Comments

[grauwulf.livejournal.com]

Somebody needs a shot, I'm not sure if it's a tetanus shot or a penicillin shot, but ewe.

[thanate.livejournal.com]

Rabies. Or perhaps a strong sedative and at least a week in a mental health center.