"...that's where it all breaks down, of course."

I've been thinking about a bunch of things recently, and one of the ones I can't quite figure out is where it was that I started defining my personal value and satisfaction in terms of productivity. I mean, I have scheduled time (social, work, exercise, etc) and I do these things, and usually enjoy them, but somehow in the end I come out with this sense that they're taking time away from me "accomplishing things," which is what I "ought" to be doing.

And laundry, or food, or picking up all the crap off my floor and finding homes for it don't count as things accomplished. Finishing projects or putting pictures online do. I think it's the distinction of whether I have something to show for what I've done in the end. (working on the craft projects if I haven't finished yet... not so much) Apparently I wish to interact with the world with witty lj posts and slightly-unfocused pictures of things other people may not care about, rather than in person. I have a feeling that my perspective here is somewhat skewed. Ok, that's normal. But when it means I can't spend a weekend with my boyfriend, who I don't see much if any of during the week, without feeling obscurely like I'm wasting my time, this is a problem.



("...I'd far rather be happy than right, any day." / "And are you?" / "Well, no...")