Baby FAQ

[thanate]

...which is to say, the sort of things that get asked, not all stuff I've been pestered about.

*Due Feb 13, so if all proceeds normally arriving sometime late January or after.

*Yes, we're going to find out if it's a boy or a girl in advance; it's not as if it's going to change between now and February. We don't know yet; in the mean time, we're taking predictions. (see next post...)

*No, we're not doing pink or blue pastels; we're planning to do our best to stick to the bright crayon-box sorts of colors that are easier for developing eyes to see, anyway.

*If anybody has baby stuff you were thinking about clearing out of the attic soon, hand-me-downs are great. (but totally not necessary.)

*If anybody feels the need to give gifts (also totally not necessary), we strongly prefer handmade to store-bought.

*We have a couple name options more-or-less picked out, but nothing final yet.

*Um... ok, are there other things people desperately want to know? And people with recent experience on the eco-friendliness of diapering options, or anything else potentially useful to the small child experience, thoughts are appreciated, though I imagine I'll ask things elsewhere as they occur to me, too.

(Also, to clarify from the last post, for those who want to leave a squeeful comment about babies-- that's just fine, so long as you're not offended when I fail to try to reproduce the vaguely embarrassed "um, thanks" that I do in person in the comments.)

Comments

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

People are congratulating you now because there is no one moment for congratulating you later. I mean, I try to do it anyway. For example, I congratulated my friend A. because her 14-year-old had reached a milestone of being able to make polite conversation with random friends of A.'s he didn't know very well--and yes, a lot of that was him, but a lot of it was work on the part of A. and her husband D. But things like your kid's birthdays will be centered more around your kid than around you, so people are grabbing the chance to say things to you now, quick, while there is no kid around yet.

So congratulations, in advance of all the times your kid manages to print their name in block capitals without getting magic marker on the table or swallows a snarky remark and is polite to an old person who means well.

[cheshiretiffy.livejournal.com]

All I know about eco-friendly diapers is that cloth are cheaper in the long run but require more work and water from washing. Setting aside a rubber scraper with "poop" or such written on the handle to scrape the diapers into the toilet makes clean-up easier, but requires more water from flushing. And straight up cornstarch works awesome as a fragrance/bullshit free butt powder, but it can still irritate some babies' skin. Also, powder isn't necissary, we never powdered Dommy, we just gave him a moment after a change to dry his bottom before putting the next diaper on. He only had diaper rash when he was sick and had acidic poop.

We also never baby-proofed the house. We paid attention instead.

I have a mountain of baby boy stuff in the basement, but it's 100% store-bought. You're more than welcome to any of it you'd like, of course. I can't say exactly what's down there since most of the big stuff went to either my nieces or to Harris' friend who's expecting next month.

You do your own thing with that baby. I know you're strong and not a push-over at all, but people will push, be obnoxious, tell you what to do and how to do it. Though I do suggest you learn the "colic carry" just in case.

Making your own baby food is super easy and healthier, and you'd do a great job of it I bet. Of course, that's for later.

[thanate.livejournal.com]

I think we're ok with being stubborn about our child-rearing methods-- the most friction is likely to come from my mother in law, who has already stated several times that her entire reason for wanting grandkids is so that she can spoil them rotten and hand them back to us. I don't think she actually believes it yet when her son says no, she is not going to carry off our child and fill it full of ice cream without supervision... (fortunately, she also lives in OH and is fairly unlikely to come visit.)

If you get a chance to look through the stuff in the basement and see what's there, I'd definitely be interested in at least knowing what you're looking to get rid of-- the handmade thing is more in terms of discouraging people from going out & spending money on cute baby stuff for us-- I fully expect that the kid will end up with about as many thrift store clothes as I do, which is a fair percentage of my closet. :) But if you end up doing other stuff & don't get to it anytime soon, that is not a problem.

[melaniesuzanne.livejournal.com]

I'm so happy for you! Here's hoping second and third trimester are nausea-free.

[queenoftheskies.livejournal.com]

Congratulations!!! Such awesome news!

BTW, I have a friend who has made cloth diapers and has patterns, if you're interested in that kind of thing.

[blairmacg.livejournal.com]

Enjoy this time. That may seem like ridiculous advice at times (I mean, no one enjoys nausea!), but there is a low key anticipation that will hum in the background of life for the next few months. It's pretty cool.

Most will feel compelled to tell you their own birth and pregnancy tales. It can be annoying, but I've come to think of it as a sort of primal instinct to pass on information that may be relevant to you. I found it worth listening to, even if the stories were boring or frightening, just in case I encountered something similar.

Based on the research I've read, it's worth taking a fish oil supplement during pregnancy. It helps the development of baby's nervous system and vision, decreases the risk of preterm labor, and decreases the risk of all sorts of health issues for the mother--all without the potential toxicity that can come from eating fish. (Most fish oil supplements tested by the FDA had been purified enough to remove mercury and other toxins.) And I pass that along for educational purposes only, not as specific medical advice, and will gladly pass along anything else you may be interested in. :)

[thanate.livejournal.com]

I've been around for other people getting the weird & slightly disturbing advice; thus far the prize winner was the woman who earnestly assured my 8-months-along co-worker that it was ok if she didn't really bond with her baby right away, because giving birth was such an *interesting* experience. On the whole, I'm interested in the story/perspectives aspect of this a lot more than the anecdotes about other people's hair that I get on a semi-regular basis; as long as I don't run into any of the strangers who think it's ok to pet my belly I should be fine.

Random trivia of the actually researched sort is good to have-- particularly if it's about developing healthy vision. (I lucked out & only got a little of the nearsightedness from my side of the family, but grauwulf only has one properly functioning optic nerve, and it's pretty high-prescription near-sighted too. So if we can avoid passing that bit on, that would be great.)

[sartorias.livejournal.com]

For my kids, cloth diapers were supposedly eco-friendly, except for the water issue. I finally opted for a diaper service as they swore they used less water and the diapers were cleaner than I could get them. But that was decades ago, so there might be eco-friendly disposables, which means not having to lug around a disgusting-smelling diaper bag on all day trips.

[thanate.livejournal.com]

I read something about someone developing a new sort of disposables with flushable inserts a few years back, but haven't yet tried to track that down & find out if they're available or affordable. On the whole, I rather like the idea of a diaper service, and it sounds like Fran may have a local lead on that; I think despite the ongoing pollution issues in the Chesapeake, we're still in an area where using more water is preferable to more landfill space, though I'm not sure I'm sufficiently virtuous to deal with cloth diapers if we do any travelling.

I *think* wet-pack technology has improved some-- I shall have to look that up. (all these things I hadn't thought of yet...)

[fwilde.livejournal.com]

There used to be a really good diaper service in the city near you... I'll try and recall the name, but it was a blur. One thing to think about is that your local chain grocery store (safeway, I'm guessing) should still have delivery truck and online ordering. This sounds insane now. It won't, later.

And yes. I need to plow through my boxes - but hand-me-downs ahoy! (I also have a box of maternity stuff that's -- oh man, it's 8 years old, so that makes it vintage, right? -- and while my pants/skirts would be ridiculous on you, you're welcome to the sweaters and such. I think there's a pretty sweet denim jacket in there, too.)

ps. Yay! Baby! Go team you guys!

[thanate.livejournal.com]

Awesome! I would love diaper service recommendations, or the chance to poke through hand-me-downs of either baby stuff or tops for the next several months. (So far I'm only dealing with pants that don't fit right, but it's only a matter of time.) Thanks!

[dragonvyxn.livejournal.com]

i hope you have a fun and healthy pregnancy! i read through all the comments, and in terms of brain and nervous system development, dha/omegas and choline and folic acid are all critical for good nervous system/optics development. i had the same worries during my pregnancy and some wicked intense nausea that didn't really quit until the 20 week mark. it was unrelenting. i'm nearsighted with strabismus and have an astigmatism, and my husband is nearsighted too, so brains/eyeballs were important to have be healthy for us too...

my daughter was born on 7/28, so i basically just went through many of the things you're headed for, in some ways, along with the rejection of pastels and society-based gendertyping. i made my family/friends promise no pink gifts. :-P also, i don't know if you're thinking of a homebirth, but midwifery care is completely wonderful! i had a nice labor/birth, it was fast and intense and really great. i didn't enjoy my experience with the ob/gyn all that much; it wasn't very in-depth/caring... anyway, i hope things go well for you at the ultrasound - we found out the sex at the 20 week u/s, felt the same way about it you do. :-)

[dragonvyxn.livejournal.com]

oh - forgot to mention - we're doing compostable delivery/pickup since we live in a sometimes water-scarce area, i thought the cloth thing would be too much water use for us.

[thanate.livejournal.com]

...and this is why I ask, because I'd never heard of composting diaper service, but it definitely sounds worth looking into. Thanks!

[thanate.livejournal.com]

Congratulations! (I didn't even know you were still reading lj.)

I've got the multi-vitamin aspect covered, and I'm reasonably happy with our ob/gyn office so far. (I lean in the natural birth direction, but not so much that I want to have to deal with the mess at home, and I feel like a hospital is nice to have around in case of problems.) Thankfully, the only nausea I've had was relatively minor and mostly based on not eating enough soon enough, though I admit to being a bit cranky about it because neither my mother nor my grandmothers had any morning sickness to speak of.