another year, another entry...
Dec. 26th, 2017 07:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thanateBirthday again, and having mentally adjusted from thinking of myself as 37 to thinking of myself as "almost 40" being 39 is sort of a non-thing. It's also a silly place for a new year, since the next (known) big change is next fall when the Megatherium goes into kindergarten and everything is going to be Different. (I'm a bit skeptical about this full day kindergarten thing, but it seems to be our option, so we'll see.) Lots of my life is still unhelpfully dependent upon the health & sanity of others, but that's people for you, I guess.
I haven't really attempted to write all year, which I'm ok with so long as it's temporary (writer brain is still in there; I came back from Pennsic with Ideas, but time and brain are still not aligning usefully, and stress levels are high enough I think it's counterproductive to push. Ugh, brains.) I have been doing other creative things: craft swaps, a little gardening, some hand embroidery, a lot of little horses & other jointed paper creatures, and now machine embroidery. I've actually more or less made friends with some of M's classmates' parents/grandparents, tho we'll see how many of those last once she's in a different elementary school. I've been playing too much silly dragon game on my phone, and ignoring too much horrible politics.
I have no idea how the household sanity levels are going; my child spends a lot of time being cranky and demanding and dissatisfied. (Her threats are still hilarious, tho-- "Daddy, can I please watch a Princess Leia video? This is your last warning!... [later] If you don't, you'll be superheated and rolled flat into paper.") Some of it's the age, some of it's her way of protesting the non-dependability of her environment. There are times when you have to pull her Doc McStuffins videos from her screaming hands to get her to stop watching them (and there are far worse shows to be addicted to, but I wish she'd picked something with less marketing.) Grauwulf is still... whether I think he's doing better or worse depends on when you ask me. We've also postponed my birthday dinner out with possible ice skating until he's not being knocked flat by a cold/sinus infection. And we've been priced off the exchange for healthcare so M & I are losing the doctor we've had since before she was born. Too many of my spaces are covered with random crap I need to deal with or find a place to put away.
In the next calendar year, I'd like to be less sedentary (it comes & goes...); carve back out space to do things in my craft room, my bedroom, the kitchen counters, my desk...; and continue to try to do things that are important (nurture family, feed birds, pester politicians, make real things instead of just fleeting "what a good idea"s.) Buy less stuff, possibly declare a Year of Using Everything Up.
When the Megatherium's in real school... I want to write. I want to get to know the annex, and do some work (habitat improvement, invasives removal) there. I want teach myself to read more fiction in sane chunks without making myself sick by staying up too late compulsively turning pages and be able to do that and write in the same brain. I may want to get back into the writing community in realspace ways. And that may be more than I can really commit to, so we'll just let the naturalist garden blog and the giant list of proto-projects continue to float in the maybe-some-day.
I haven't really attempted to write all year, which I'm ok with so long as it's temporary (writer brain is still in there; I came back from Pennsic with Ideas, but time and brain are still not aligning usefully, and stress levels are high enough I think it's counterproductive to push. Ugh, brains.) I have been doing other creative things: craft swaps, a little gardening, some hand embroidery, a lot of little horses & other jointed paper creatures, and now machine embroidery. I've actually more or less made friends with some of M's classmates' parents/grandparents, tho we'll see how many of those last once she's in a different elementary school. I've been playing too much silly dragon game on my phone, and ignoring too much horrible politics.
I have no idea how the household sanity levels are going; my child spends a lot of time being cranky and demanding and dissatisfied. (Her threats are still hilarious, tho-- "Daddy, can I please watch a Princess Leia video? This is your last warning!... [later] If you don't, you'll be superheated and rolled flat into paper.") Some of it's the age, some of it's her way of protesting the non-dependability of her environment. There are times when you have to pull her Doc McStuffins videos from her screaming hands to get her to stop watching them (and there are far worse shows to be addicted to, but I wish she'd picked something with less marketing.) Grauwulf is still... whether I think he's doing better or worse depends on when you ask me. We've also postponed my birthday dinner out with possible ice skating until he's not being knocked flat by a cold/sinus infection. And we've been priced off the exchange for healthcare so M & I are losing the doctor we've had since before she was born. Too many of my spaces are covered with random crap I need to deal with or find a place to put away.
In the next calendar year, I'd like to be less sedentary (it comes & goes...); carve back out space to do things in my craft room, my bedroom, the kitchen counters, my desk...; and continue to try to do things that are important (nurture family, feed birds, pester politicians, make real things instead of just fleeting "what a good idea"s.) Buy less stuff, possibly declare a Year of Using Everything Up.
When the Megatherium's in real school... I want to write. I want to get to know the annex, and do some work (habitat improvement, invasives removal) there. I want teach myself to read more fiction in sane chunks without making myself sick by staying up too late compulsively turning pages and be able to do that and write in the same brain. I may want to get back into the writing community in realspace ways. And that may be more than I can really commit to, so we'll just let the naturalist garden blog and the giant list of proto-projects continue to float in the maybe-some-day.