The post-holiday quandaries are as follows:

[thanate]

1) Where to put all the little airplanes my grandparents brought us, because when I said we'd like to adopt one model airplane to put up on our blue-sky bedroom ceiling, they brought them all and a box to put them in.

2) What two people who have far too much stuff already ought to be putting on their wedding "registry" (non-branded) for those people who are not inclined to donate to charity instead, nor sufficiently inspired to make/buy handmade happy-ever-aftery things. (whatever those are, of course...) So far, we have a meager ten things or so, and they include smoke detectors and a fire safe. And while, admittedly, it is nice not to be burned alive, I can think of few things I consider less romantic.

3) Whether I will be unknowingly traumatizing small children elsewhere in the world by the occasional gruesome creature description on the Spore creatures which I am building to send off into the void. (I'm thanate there, too, if you play and want to take a look at my doodles... the names and descriptions are usually the best part.)

4) And the ongoing, existential: Having survived another year, have I justified my existence yet? How would I know if I had, anyway?

Comments

[doll-paparazzi.livejournal.com]

Well... depending on the wedding, you could ask for things that you could white elephant back out to friends that would need the stuff. Like cookware (honestly, I go through non-stick pans all the time), blankets (any missions around you that would need blankets?)... tools (habitat for humanity around you?)... fabric (SCA branch around you... tee-hee).

I don't know. That's really tough. Do you need help paying for the wedding itself? I can't imagine if you asked for say gift checks to Walmart (at least you can get grociers there), Sears, or whatever gift checks... I don't see people not doing it per se. Or maybe books? Or just write a short note encouraging people to donate to your place of choice. I know it's a gamble, but if people really understand that, then maybe they'll do it?

[thanate.livejournal.com]

This is actually from the bottom of the page after we've already asked for donations to favored charities, or handmade gifts; the idea is to have some things for the "I must bring a storebought gift" people in an attempt to avoid ending up with any of the things your kids find unopened in your drawer twenty years later. At the end of the list is "gift cards to home depot/lowes" since the house is the "ongoing renovations" sort. We're just having trouble since most of the kitchen and household things we've already got two sets of, and the stuff we're missing is mainly quite expensive (chest freezer, dryer, porch swing, kitchen renovations...).

The thing that will really help is taking a complete inventory, but we haven't got to that yet.

[doll-paparazzi.livejournal.com]

I think a lot of people enjoy shopping for the dishes and kitchen gadgets but it's the gift checks or handmade stuff that they get all twitchy about. Over the years I've explained to my friends that it's better to give me gift checks than pick things that they think I'll like because 9 times out of 10, they are wrong and they waste their money. What's worst than wasting money on something that I can't use or don't like? I think after awhile they understood. A few friends still don't get it, but well... for the most part they are pretty good about it. Good luck with it all.

[thanate.livejournal.com]

Whereas I have very strong feelings that wedding presents should be hope-chest style items (embroidered napkins & pillowcases, tablecloths, quilts... warm & cozy sorts of things made for the individuals) and the idea of listing kitchen gadgets bothers me. And then grauwulf has issues with the concept of *asking* for presents in the first place, which doesn't help with the brainstorming. Although ironically, it's his friends who keep asking what we want. Oh well.

With luck, we'll turn up a few more kitchen & basic household items that we haven't got when I empty out my storage unit in a month or two.

4 woo existential :)

[fishy1.livejournal.com]

Justified your existence to whom?
Why?

The way to tell if your mission on Earth is finished: if you are still alive, it isn't.

Re: 4 woo existential :)

[thanate.livejournal.com]

probably to my conscience? ("was your output in benefit-to-others worth your drain in use of their time/space/resources?" (am I being a parasite) plus "have you done anything today that you'll be glad to have done later on?" (am I wasting the time I have & going to regret that later))

Because it's another thing to feel bad/inadequate about? There was something on NPR a couple weeks back that we didn't listen to, but heard the trailer in which they were saying that most americans live with chronic feelings of dissatisfaction (that wasn't quite the right phrase, but pretty close) which one of my co-workers and I agreed pretty much described our employment history, if nothing else.

Re: 4 woo existential :)

[fishy1.livejournal.com]

I recently made a resolution to the effect of not letting other people's scales of what is 'good enough' affect my self-judgment as much. this, of course leaves me with having to make up my own scales in order to know if i'm doing OK.

Too much 'worth math' is bad for the soul.

I believe that i should not have to 'work' for a living, but should be able to get by just doing things i enjoy. Sometimes i think this makes me a bad person.

Re: 4 woo existential :)

[thanate.livejournal.com]

I'm not too concerned with other people's scales-- that's often one of my strong points, I guess. But creating reasonable scales for myself is tricky; it's kind of the problem of comparing yourself to the ideal that you can't ever reach, and thus not having any concept of what progress you might have made.

I think if the things you enjoy have sufficient social-barter value to keep you from being parasitic (in a basic sense: you provide sufficient happiness to outweigh others having to work/interface with the capitalist system on your behalf) then no, there's no reason to think you're a bad person. If what you enjoy is taking mind-destroying drugs and burning people's houses down, then perhaps not so much.

[fishy1.livejournal.com]

i envy you that (skill?)
That is possibly the root of the problem. i also have a thing for having made progress, even in non-scaled arenas. If i don't get 'better' then i'm wasting my time.

i guess it's important to have a mix of attainable and non-attainable goals?

Problem of scale for happiness again; best i can come up with is "surviving without making others unhappy," but on the large/detailed scale, that starts to look impossible too. Perhaps "making more people happy than unhappy?"