...and one more thing

[thanate]

which is a little awkward, and I have not yet spoken to all the people who I probably need to talk to about it, so my apologies on that head. But it appears that I didn't make it widely enough known that I honestly didn't want an award of arms; certainly within the people who were at gulf wars, the people who knew I was supposed to get one and the people (ok, maybe that was just me and Mel) who knew I didn't want it never quite got together. I probably ought to have asked Troy when he made some vague reference to "just some stuff" happening at Atlantian court, but I had asked my baroness some time ago to discourage people from attempting to give it to me, and was thus assuming it wasn't something I had to worry about.

So, ah, I have (extremely awkwardly) refused my AOA in court; Ragnar was very nice about it, but I still feel bad. If anyone on this list is still speaking to ssdevilducky, please let him know; I don't know if he's likely to appreciate it anymore, but he did once promise to fall out of his seat laughing if I did that. Um. I also feel like once I get sorted out exactly what happened, I owe their majesties an apology.

Why I don't want an AOA: I am fully aware that my reasonings are kind of childish on this, and I thank everyone who thinks I deserve the recognition for attempting to be nice to me. But I am playing in the SCA because I have a lot of friends here, and because I really like the style of fencing, and I'm not interested in playing the game of advancement. This may change, but for the moment I would much rather be the good anglo-saxon peasant that I am, heritage-wise, than play dress-up like a princess like I did when I was a kid. I don't mean to be disrespectful of anyone else who wants to do such a thing, but in my head it would be reverting to being twelve. And while I am totally aware that there are lots of other people who have titles and choose not to use them, I am not interested in being titled as a lady so long as there are still people who tell me patronizingly that lower class is "not what the SCA is about." It is not what it's about for most of you; this is why I'm not interested in participating in that aspect of the game.

So again, I thank everyone who thought I ought to have the award, but I really don't want a title, and for my own personal reasons I have difficulties with the great veil of secrecy that prevents people knowing they're going to get something before in fact they do; I don't want to spoil the surprise for anyone else of course, but in my case, I really don't want to be called into court not knowing whether I'm going to be willing to accept whatever I'm about to be given.

Comments

[belfebe.livejournal.com]

but I had asked my baroness some time ago to discourage people from attempting to give it to me, and was thus assuming it wasn't something I had to worry about.

If you did, it must have been a long time ago because I have no recollection of that conversation.

On the other hand, it is the job of a Coronet to try and make sure that the people in their Barony get recognized for their efforts and do not fall through the cracks.

And of course, the awarding of Kindgom Level awards do not depend on the Coronets, only on the Crowns. A Coronet may send recommendations until they get blue in the face but if the Crowns do not think it is appropriate, it will not happen.

On the other hand, it is the prerrogative of the recipient to accept an award or not. We all respect that. And now that we know that you do not want to accept any kinds of awards or recognition, you can rest assured that we will definitely abide by your wishes and will not be sending any more recommendations.

It is the least we can do.

[thanate.livejournal.com]

It was about a year ago, and clearly I should have kept reminding people; sorry about that. You've got everyone else in the barony to worry about besides keeping track of my weird preferences, and there were a lot of other people who could have said something to their majesties if I'd mentioned it a little more often.

It's not awards in general I have an issue with, merely those that come with a title. I don't mind being recongized if I have in fact done something worthy of it; I just don't want anything with rank associated with it. (the extremely hypothetical question was raised about whether I'd accept a Pearl, to which I've said only if it came with an exception to the grant of arms.)

[belfebe.livejournal.com]

I understand.

However, all Atlantian Orders of Merit (Coral Branch, Opal, etc.), High Merit (Pearl, GD, etc.), and Peerages (Laurel, Pelican, Knighthood, as well as Royal Peerages), all come with an AoA, Grant of Arms, or Patent of Arms. You cannot eat your cake and keep it too when it comes to that.

You may want to think about what is it that you would like to accomplish in the Society. It will be difficult to try to be recognized and not to be recognized at the same time, and the Kingdom and the Society have their own ways or recognizing folks.

[thanate.livejournal.com]

I don't exactly anticipate getting anything like that in the forseeable future; as I keep pointing out to people I have yet to enter an A&S competiton, anyway. And I don't have a problem with turning down an award if they won't make an exception.

I'm not really interested in recognition. At this point I'm more interested in fencing and comradery than in the Society structure as a whole, although I have no problem supporting other people who care about it. I just mean to make the distinction that, unlike George, I will not get horribly offended at you for giving me anything at all; it's just the title I object to.

[belfebe.livejournal.com]

I don't think that this will be a problem, since there is nothing I can give you that carries a title. For that, I would have to be the Queen, which I am not.

The only thing that a Baroness can do is send a recommendation and hope that the Crowns listen. And since we have agreed that there will be no recommendations for you, there will be nothing to worry about.

[greta-k.livejournal.com]

It is your perogative to accept or not. Since you do not feel comfortable with a title, you were true to yourself by politely refusing the pro offered AOA.

Although ssdevilducky was "offended" by the awards which he received, he did not refuse them. He said he did not want recognition, yet his nose was out of joint whenever he was NOT recognized. It was a case of damned if you do or damned if you don't with him. At least you are clear on what you do and do not want.

[stanci.livejournal.com]

One of these days I am going to dig out my notes of Spanish heirarchical structure, and figure out where I would fit - but I think it belongs somewhere along the lines of "yeah, dude, I've got land and a title, but so does everyone else" :)
Sort of like how in Elizabethan England "Mistress" or "Master" was the form of address for those folks that didn't have any rank. That I absolutely love.

[thanate.livejournal.com]

yeah. I was horribly confused after being "Mistress Flaxflower" at faire, and then turning up in the SCA where that's, um, not a safe designation to bestow on people.